Toxic Positivity Is Draining You, Here’s What Real Mental Strength Looks Like

We’ve all heard them. “Just stay positive.” “Good vibes only.” “Don’t think about it, smile and move on.”

On the surface, these phrases may seem harmless and even helpful. But when positivity becomes the only acceptable emotional response, it starts to do more harm than good. This is what we call toxic positivity, and it’s quietly draining many people’s mental and emotional energy, especially those trying to commit to personal growth, fitness, and healing.

At FIT4IT, we focus on complete well-being: body, mind, and spirit. So let’s talk about what real mental strength looks like because it’s not about pretending to be fine. It’s about knowing how to process what’s not fine.

Unlike healthy optimism, toxic positivity denies the full spectrum of human emotions and can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation.

What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is the expectation always to be cheerful. It is the belief that there is no problem that a happy thought cannot solve, even when you are hurting, stressed, or simply fatigued.

It manifests in the following ways:

• Dismissing difficult feelings with “You should be grateful.”
• Putting undue pressure on yourself not to cry, telling yourself, “It’s not that bad.”
• Feeling shame for wanting to take time off or reclaim stillness.

It can even creep into your fitness journey when you feel like you are “supposed” to be motivated all the time, or when you feel like something is wrong with you if you do not feel confident every single day.

But in reality, positivity isn’t a requirement. You ought to be real instead.

Why Toxic Positivity Is So Exhausting?

It’s taxing trying to maintain a facade that everything is fine. It keeps you in a perpetual state of self-editing where you are muzzling your thoughts, your words, your body language, and so on. That requires effort. In the end, it slowly destroys your self-trust.

How Does It Show Up In Fitness & Wellness?

Toxic positivity can be especially detrimental in the realm of fitness.

The truth is, you won’t always feel motivated, and no one loves your body all the time. Undoubtedly, a person may miss their milestones well past the planned timelines, and it is completely okay.

But when the directive becomes more like “just push through” or “no days off” without taking into consideration your mental or physical baseline, the outcome is likely to be burnout, shame, or even injury. Focusing on outcomes too rigidly can create a lot of unhealthy pressures.

This is a cycle where people aren’t exhausted because of the workout, but because of the psychological pressure to show “all ok” while they’re mentally crumbling.

What Do You Define As Mental Strength?

Looking tough from the outside is also termed as being “emotionally tough,” but in reality, that is only achieved by developing “emotional agility,” which is the term from a psychologist known as Dr. Susan David. To be agile means knowing how to move through life’s highs and lows without being stuck forever in one. It follows the principle of facing discomfort with compassion, rather than avoidance.

Some examples of strength include:

• Allowing yourself to grieve after hitting a wall, rather than powering through to the next step in the funnel.
• Watching yourself and becoming overwhelmed, then admitting “I need help.”
• Relieving yourself of guilt when taking breaks.
• Choosing to tell the truth instead of trying to make everything flawless.

Such strength requires bravery. It’s raw, it’s vulnerable. But it’s also extremely freeing.

Why Ignoring Emotions Is Ineffective?

Ignoring negative emotions is an apparently easy way to deal with them, but research shows that it can lessen resilience and increase stress over time. In a 2011 study published in Emotion, the authors found that suppressing emotions leads to lower social support and greater depressive symptoms. People who bottle up emotions tend to feel more isolated and less able to deal with their life challenges.

On the contrary, those who try to name and acknowledge their feelings are likely to manage those feelings better and recover more rapidly.

So, simply telling yourself, “I’m fine” when you know fully well that you aren’t, know this: it’s okay not to be okay, and actually admitting that is one of the biggest steps towards personal growth.

FIT4IT Mental Wellness Approach

At FIT4IT, we strive to go beyond superficial changes in a person’s life. Whether it is fitness, nutrition, or mindset, all aspects are to be integrated for optimal emotional and mental well-being. This is why our personal training approach at FIT4IT goes beyond just physical exercises. We create space for you to process emotions and build genuine resilience alongside your fitness goals.

Let’s have a look at how we ensure real mental strength:

• Mindfulness Training: Self-awareness is cultivated together with a range of emotions by properly breathing, reflecting, and guided practices.
• Personalized Coaching: Our coaches don’t just ask, “How was your workout?” They ask: How are you?
• Safe Space Culture: No shame in here. Regardless of whether you are achieving goals or struggling to show up, there is compassion, not judgment.

How To Begin Creating Real Mental Fortitude?

Below are some of the approaches that can cultivate emotional resilience as opposed to toxic positivity:

• Acknowledge Emotions: Instead of “I am so anxious,” try saying, “I’m feeling anxious right now.” The act of labeling emotions eases their intensity, making them easier to manage.
• Eliminate the Shoulds: Feeling happy all the time is a myth, so permit yourself to feel however you do, regardless of what you think you should feel.
• Set mental recovery days: Your mind and body require rest and recovery. Set aside time to process thoughts, journal, or simply be without any demands.
• Speak it out: Discuss what you are feeling with someone you trust or even a professional. Vulnerability breeds connection and is, in fact, courage.

Be gentle with yourself, and practice self-kindness.

Common examples include telling someone to “just think positive” during a crisis or dismissing grief with phrases like “everything happens for a reason.”

This shows resilience and creates a soft landing to which you can return. It means to rise again once you fall, and being kind to oneself is a form of taking care.

References & Further Reading

• David, Susan. Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. https://www.susandavid.com/book/emotional-agility/
• Positivity has a dark side: The rise of toxic positivity, BBC Worklife. https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210120-why-toxic-positivity-is-harmful
• The Cost of Suppressing Emotions – APA (American Psychological Association) https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2011/suppression
• Toxic positivity: The dark side of positive vibes – Medical News Today https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/toxic-positivity
• The Psychological Effects of Suppressing Emotions – Verywell Mind https://www.verywellmind.com/suppression-of-emotions-5195252